Today I have been thinking about a relationship I have wherein I feel I have been betrayed. I approached the Tarot struggling with the idea that there are some things that go on in this world that I do not want to face- there are some behaviors so reprehensible to me that I find there are people I do not want to love. I asked the Tarot, how can I open my heart to all Being? I drew the King of Vessels (Cups) from the Wildwood Tarot. It depicts a heron standing in a swampy stream just before daybreak. He has a very stern look on his face and looks regal and resolute standing in this dark water. The tree behind him looks spooky, and he is alone. What came to mind for me is that my path in this life is to walk through every experience, pleasant or unpleasant as it may be to my mind, and be able to welcome everything into my heart. As the heron bravely stands in the flow of water, representing the unconscious, the unknown, and all emotion, he views this water as his opportunity for food. If there is anything in life that I am shutting out from my heart, I am missing opportunities. To shut out some painful emotion or unpleasantness, I have to close my heart a little bit. This closing is itself painful. As Gangaji says, “What we seem to fear the most is the broken heart. Yet the very unwillingness for the heart to be broken is the broken heart… in order to avoid the broken heart, people live in a state of broken-heartedness.” As the Fool in the Tarot, we must take the leap through every experience and really experience everything- let everything in so that the heart expands and we are able to be in love, which is the Truth of our being, no matter what emotions arise or what the mind finds unacceptable.

“Your own self realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” -Sri Ramana Maharshi
I think of this quote often, as I know that if I cannot see what I truly am, I will not be able to know others as what they are, and thus will not be able to experience the compassion that arises from the understanding that we are all one being. This portrayal of the High Priestess from the Medicine Woman Tarot is a great illustration of this concept. She is seated before a beautiful scene in nature , yet she holds a mirror in from of her face. She knows that in looking at the beauty of nature, she is looking at herself. She is the stream, the trees, the moss, the moon. All things arise out of the consciousness of the universe, and this consciousness is who we are. The High Priestess knows that when we behold something of beauty, physical forms as well as concepts such as wisdom, compassion, truth, or peace, we are merely seeing our own selves reflected back to us.

Today I approached the Tarot feeling fearful and anxious. I lost an important client recently and I was feeling afraid of not being able to replace the lost income and pay my bills. I felt the situation was out of my control and that no one would help me. I drew The Creator card, from the Osho Zen Tarot, inverted. It corresponds to King of Wands. The message for me was that the creator in my life is the Universal Law of all things flowing through me and my circumstances. This Law is perfect, all circumstances are just as they must be, and I can shift my focus to feeling this force working in my life and experiencing the peace that comes from this. I took the physical position of the man on the card and meditated on the powerful force of Karma creating my life circumstances. I envisioned my mind at peace in the middle of any circumstance. Suddenly I realized that not only was I afraid of not having enough money, but I was afraid of what that might mean about me to myself and others- that I am inadequate, incompetent, or defective. The man on the card was telling me: Here is your chance to experience these thoughts and acknowledge that they are false, and it is time to let them go. I felt a great sense of peace at this point, a sense of freedom from any negative view of myself and a freedom from complaining about my predicament. This is exactly what I needed in order to face these negative thoughts. I ended my reading with a prayer of thanks. I will carry the image of this card into my day with me. It will remind me of the peace that comes from knowing that every circumstance is just what I need to face and let go of anything that holds me back from seeing the Truth of who I am.